


Will be both us and you and them together

by valmonts



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/M, Freeform, No Kiss, Open Ending, hugging the pain away, i love my brother but you're so lovable x i love your brother and you look like him au, only hugs, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 22:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2790497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valmonts/pseuds/valmonts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts like every other love story. But it doesn't end like a fairy tale (except it kind of does).</p><p>(This was originally a Cersei/Oberyn thing, but it can be read as Cersei/any guy, and I guess it is better like this.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will be both us and you and them together

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is my fisrt fanfiction to be published in ao3 ever, and also the first fanfiction I write in english and it is unbeta'ed so I'm sorry for any mistakes  
> the title is from the song Janta by marcelo camelo and Mallu Magalhães

It starts like every other love story, with a look. Not your regular look, the one when their eyes meet and it’s almost as sparkles filled the air between them. No, it’s nothing like that. It’s much more complex, because, even though it makes all the sense in the world that they would look at each other ― she’s sitting in the front row and he is the  _spalla_ of the orchestra ― when they do it, they are not what they see.

He looks at her and sees her twin brother, born only a few minutes after her, with the same golden hair and green eyes. She looks at him and sees opportunity, a great opportunity to impress her father and make him proud of her.

When they meet after the concert ― he was the one who went after her ― it’s like they’d known each other for years, because they have so much in common and, well, they like each other's presence.  _She’s not like her brother_ , he thinks, and his thoughts are followed by a smirk.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asks at last, and she smiles because he knows she did. By the second movement she already had tears in her eyes and when they were over her claps were the most enthusiastic in the room.

“Very much” she answers, and the way she looks at him is all that takes for him to know that their intentions are similar.

They go to a restaurant and talk about things neither of them are really paying attention. He asks to take her home. They end up at his apartment.

She wakes up in his bed, fully clothed. He was still sleeping in the couch when she got out of the room. He is shirtless, and it is not her fault.

They had talked until the sun was rising. It didn’t take him very long to let go of all his self-restrain and tell her about him and her brother. She listened quietly as she drank glass after glass of wine ― he had told her to feel at home anyway.  _My brother always gets everything_ , she had thought, bitterly. She loves Jaime enough to understand why he would love him too.

And when she wakes up, she remembers crying in silent and then falling asleep.

_“He was 21 when we met”, he had said, “He was young and beautiful and it was love at first sight and I know he never told you about it because we never told anyone about it.”_

_He had spoken and spoken and she had absolutely no idea what to do about it. She didn’t know if she was supposed to do anything. When he was over, she asked how long it had lasted_ ― _“Three years until we decided not to meet each other anymore. And one year until that finally happened”_ ― _and if he still loved him_ ―  _“I don’t know if not loving him will ever be a possibility” ― and then there was silence._

_“He would talk about you, you know. About how you were doing great in college, about how he wanted you to be happy and everything…He would talk about you.”_

_She knew Jaime would talk about her because they were halves of the same whole and they loved each other and they always talked about each other. She didn't say anything, but she cried and he did not understand why she was crying. But she knew. She knew that she was jealous and she didn’t know who she was jealous of. She loves Jaime so much and she needed him like hell – two halves of the same whole, they would say. It hurt to know that he had loved someone else, even if she know Jaime would never love anyone the way he loved her. She had seen that guy as an opportunity and now he was a wasted opportunity because Jaime had taken him away from her before she even knew._

_She cried and hugged him and he carried her to his bedroom, because she didn’t want to go home and he didn’t want to let her sleep in the couch. When he put her in his bed she didn’t ask him to stay so he didn’t. She was 27 and she was crying like a little girl and nobody except for her would know why._

He wakes up soon after her and she is staring at him, sitting on the floor with the same dress she wore the whole night and looking so beautiful that he wants kissed her. He doesn’t. Instead, he tells her that she can borrow some of his sister’s clothes. Her intrigued look makes him explain that she left them there after her last visit. Then, he takes her to his guest room.

 “Why didn’t you sleep here last night?” she questioned him after he showed her the few clothes that were left in the wardrobe near the bed.

“I guess I didn’t remember about it” He looks so embarrassed and cute that she almost kisses him. Instead she just smiles and thanks him as he closes the door and leaves.

When she goes back to the living room with her borrowed clothes ― a shirt that was too big and pants that were not, plus a pair of flats because she would absolutely not ― she doesn’t see anyone there, and she worries that she was left alone in that apartment. So she searches for him and finds him at the kitchen, making breakfast and singing.

“I thought you only played the violin” Her smile is so warm it almost melts him.  _Not like her brother at all_ , he reasons, _Jaime would never smile at me like this_.

“Well, I’m not a professional singer, as you probably notice.” he jokes and they laugh.

She admires him while he finished cooking, paying attention to how his eyes seem to be unable to stay fully open when he is very concentrated on something. She realizes it had happened when he was playing the other night as well. Then she shames herself for paying so much attention to what her brother’s ex-something does.

“Some pancakes and an orange juice to start the day well” he announces once breakfast is ready.

She doesn’t say that their day had already started and that it hadn’t exactly begun well, everything is so good right now and she is not willing to ruin it.

“This tastes like heaven!” she points out, eyes closed while she appreciates the food. He wants to kiss her so badly he almost forgets to breathe. But he doesn’t do it. Instead, he just thanks her.

They talk about silly things as they eat, and none of them mentions Jaime.  When both of them are done, they talk a little bit more, about things that are not silly. He tells her about how much he likes working with something he actually loves doing and she tells him about how she would like to do what she loves, but instead she does what her father wants her to. She doesn’t cry when he hugs her so tightly he doesn’t know whose heartbeat he hears. The silence is filled with their expectations.

“I have to go” she announces after a while, sounding just sad enough to make him decide that there’s no way they won’t be seeing each other again.

“Okay” He sounds even sadder when he lets her go, and she could swear he is pouting when he escorted her to the door. She wants to kiss that pout away, but she doesn’t. Instead they exchanged phone numbers and she hugs him tightly once more before leaving.

Neither of them said goodbye.

He closes the door and lies on the couch swearing to himself that he didn’t remind her about everything she was forgetting at his home because she is a pleasant company and he wants to see her again, swears it has nothing to do with how gorgeous she looks when she smiles and how good it is to hug her. And it sure has nothing to do with the fact that maybe, just maybe, he is almost starting to fall in love with his ex-something’s sister.

It is confusing and he doesn’t want to think about it, so he just thinks about blond princesses and lost shoes and then smiles.

She takes the stairs ― he lives in the third floor after all ― and it is only when she is already in a cab on her way home – to Jaime ― that she remembers about her dress and her shoes. She rests her head on the window of the car and closes her eyes.  She loves Jaime and they are halves of the same whole so it makes sense that she would like that guy. But she is not Jaime and she is not 21 and it was not love at first sight. Perhaps this is her fairy tale and Jaime has nothing to do with it. Perhaps there is still something for her to get.

She doesn’t want to think about any of it, about any of them, so she thinks about violins and tight hugs and smiles.


End file.
